I write this to make me feel better, you don't have to read this.

The night of Tokio Hotel, I wouldn't stop laughing just talking to you on the phone, I actually felt happy. Having to see your text when I wake up puts a smile on my face. Having you to tell me you have all the time in the world for me and you come all the way for me though it's all the way from Kuala Lumpur. I just enjoyed every single moment of us being really close friends. We would tell each other that we're just friends. The way you call my name with your sense of creativity changing my formal name into something so different yet beautiful to call out to. You're such a nerd, you take the time off to explain something I didn't know. Having to speak the same taste as I do, we became instant bestfriends. But as slowly time passes by, you would tell me how much you miss me.

I'm sorry, I never wanted things to end up like this. I'm sorry I know how she feels, as I was in her shoes just not long ago. I'm sorry but I never planned to sabotage your relationship. I've been hurt the same way, call it karma but please don't do this to her. I would rather get hurt than to sabotage a relationship that had been going on for so long. It's best for us to stay away for now at least til we get our feet back to the ground. I bail myself out and I am sorry- we became a little too close. As for that, here we go again. Just another goodbye.

Wow, bail me out I can't believe that just happened.

I miss you Brandon Peter Morais, I hope you are reading this because I gotta admit, I miss your virtual kisses & video calls.